Losing My Mind

Losing My Mind

Chapter 1

Her world was slowly, yet definitely falling apart. More and more everyday like lava flows that casually destroys all in its path. Sienna’s mind couldn’t be more complicated with all the over thinking and reacting to imaginary scenarios. She never thought this could happen even though she was always told it could.

Sienna Rose is a fifteen year old girl, who dabbles in anything moderately artistic. She adores photography and typically uses polaroid cameras. Belmont, California offers the chance for eye catching photos every second of every day. I guess it’s perfect Sienna lives there. With long, ombre, curly hair, and a slimming body, Sienna has the ideal body with the perfect tan. Although on the shorter side, she makes up for it with great complexion and the most charming personality.  No wonder she has two best friends that would die for her, and not to mention a boyfriend that truly is everything you want in a guy.  Sienna is far from perfect and struggles with the pressure of keeping up good grades and constantly being compared to her older siblings who are out of college. Her younger sister, Brianna Rose, always manages to motivate her more than any other person. It is quite an accomplishment being only eight. Sienna can not imagine a life without her little sister. She loves being able to teach her about what awaits her in life and helping her with school. She constantly writes about Brianna growing up in her journal and maybe a picture of her here and there. Her mother is a professor at some unimpressive college, but she used to work at a highly respected hospital as a nurse. Sienna’s father is a chemical engineer at Shell, and her brother (twenty) is already passing the tests to become a diplomat! Sienna’s sister (twenty-five) is a lawyer! Now do you understand the overly high standards put on everyone in the family? One of Sienna’s deepest secrets is that she really just wants to be a photographer, but decides to tell everyone they are looking at a future computer programmer. What a struggle it must be to hide your true feelings about life.

Chapter 2

Sienna’s school days are generally all the same and the structure of everything makes Sienna feel safe and in control. Her best friend, Taylor, takes her to school and they meet up with Matthew. He’s Sienna’s guy best friend and Taylor’s boyfriend. Depending on his ability to wake up in the morning, Carter is usually there to steal Sienna away. Dating since practically forever, they know each other better than they know themselves and even love each other’s weird habits. With only four periods with each other they practically cling to every word the other person is saying. But you can’t blame them with the massive amount of love they share. Carter is about five inches taller than Sienna, muscular, extremely athletic, respectful, and the sweetest boy out of the entire school. He’s not perfect and neither is Sienna. Yet Carter makes her laugh a thousand times a day, he admits his mistakes to Sienna, and he’s the one that tries harder for her than anyone else.

Typically after school Sienna walks to a cafe and spends quite some time there drinking iced coffee, studying and doing homework, etc. Sometimes Sienna might to go her friends house for dinner or cook for her own family.

Any free time spent alone Sienna tends to have panic attacks and worry over practically nothing. She hopes they are caused because of stress, so she longs for the day when there is no more school and there is no need to worry about her future job or anything. We will see if that actually ever happens. So far so good right? I mean nothing completely life changing. Just a few bumps here and there, but Sienna is a strong girl and she can handle it. But can she handle something as radical as this?

Chapter 3

Sienna  just so happened to overhear a serious conversation between her parents when she was hoping to tell them about her good grade. Everyone knew the high probability of this happening, well everyone except Brianna. Sienna, not wanting to interrupt her parents, waited to tell them about her amazing grade.

Waiting and waiting she hears her father whisper, “All of my work has finally paid off, I’m moving up the ladder!”, he keeps talking understanding his wife was confused.

“I have been chosen out of twenty, only five were chosen including me! We have been promoted and we are to be promoted further in just a few months.”

Sienna’s mom was so proud, happy, and overwhelmed with emotions she just couldn’t say anything and she didn’t have to. After the shock of the moment she went on and on with questions.

“What’s your promotion??”

“What is your title now?”    

“What project are you working on?”

“Does the CEO know who you are?”

And an endless count that her dad just let her ramble on until she was done. During all of this Sienna felt a thrill rush through her and was just like her mother! Nothing but pure joy so far.

“It is a new project that……” He got so quiet like he suddenly realized the walls had ears.

“Australia... different company...completely paid for...going there in...to visit..moving in three...months”

Sienne became instantly deflated, extremely confused she listened harder for an explanation and she just could not handle it.

“It might be a little rocky, but we can handle moving to Australia. It is going to be such a glorious experience after all. It will only be for three years and Sienna and Brianna are going to come, but Josefina and Ian will have to stay.” Of course he went on and on, but without even noticing herself Sienna ran upstairs in complete denial. It’s a prank she thought over and over, its not real they wouldn’t do this to me I’ve done everything they wanted me too! She went on to imagine losing Carter, not having that one best friend to count on, Taylor, and someone that’s been with you through everything, Matthew. No one else matter, except her family, but no one else is going to know her on such a deep level. She’ll be an outsider. She’ll hate herself. No no no! For over an hour she sat there just thinking, and eventually it became just so much she cried a river. She missed dinner, she avoided her phone, didn’t do her homework, and completely broke down. She was a mess. No other words. Just wrecked. Crying just as hard as Brianna when she broke her leg. Sienna couldn’t bare to tell Carter or Taylor or anyone. She missed writing in her journal that day and practicing violin. She stayed up until at least three because no matter she couldn’t fall asleep without picturing her future life and losing Carter.

 

Chapter 4

Sienna woke up, immediately felt the tear stains on her pillow, and asked herself what the hell had happened. As fast as the speed of light it all came back to her. The melancholy overwhelmed Sienna so much she started crying again. When she wakes up to go to school, no one else is in the house, so there were tears marking her trail throughout the household. Sienna avoided talking to Taylor the entire day, didn’t bother to look at Matthew, and simply hugged Carter and walked away. All of them extremely worried, desperately wanted to ask a billion questions, but left Sienna alone. Sienna’s thoughts were more tangled than her headphones, and a panic attack overwhelmed her. Shaking, crying, and wanting to punch a wall out. It went on for over two class periods, and the only thing that made her stop was thinking it a simply a joke, maybe an early Halloween prank? Yes that’s it, she thought. That single thought managed to get Sienna to smile at Matthew and Taylor, but this wasn’t good enough for them. She didn’t talk or gesture to Carter because her explanation somehow didn’t assure her enough. At home she acted extremely angsty towards Brianna, and her parents. Who definitely ordered respect at all possible times. Not going to dinner again caused her parents to have a serious talk with Sienna.

Before her mother could even get out one word Sienna whispered, “How could you? It’s all your fault”. Continuing, “You’re destroying my entire world!”

Jose spoke firmly yet quietly, “Sienna calm yourself right now!”

“NO! You are the ones changing my entire life!”

“What are you talking about?”

“MOVING”. Somehow right before this conversation occurred, Sienna lost her mentality that it was a joke.

Her mom did something unexpected, and ran towards her daughter immediately embracing her. Sienna didn’t hesitate, and hugged her like Brianna would have. Sienna sobbed and sobbed, saying she never wants to move. Her father obviously had not expected this, and was searching for some sort of explanation.

At last he said, “Sienna...please don’t be over dramatic, it’s going to be such an adventure just you wait and see.”

Sienna felt mixed emotions anger because it was definitely happening, anxious for the adventure, and hatred of her father’s job, and the fact he had to be the one chosen. She ushered them out insisting she just wanted time alone and vented like never before in her journal,

9.20.14     

No no no. Please oh god no. It’s not real! I won’t let it be real. Australia with no one who even knows my name or what my favorite color is. I’m going to be so out of place! An outcast in my last two and a half years of high school. High school is meant for unbelievable memories with friends who would die for you. My parents are ripping that out of my hands!

Sienna looked like a cartoon with steam coming out of her ears, and her face red with anger. She was a ticking time bomb about to destroy everything in a matter of seconds. As she took a deep breath Sienna continued.

I don’t deserve this at all. I have worked my entire life so my parents could be proud to have a daughter like me. Then their reward to me is taking everything I have ever known out of my life, and then replacing it with god only knows who.

Sienna couldn’t bare to finish her journal because she had erupted into tears. Brianna came knocking and Sienna without thinking told her to shut up and leave. Sienna rarely yells like that to her, but Sienna couldn’t explain why she was crying to her. Sienna’s parents left Sienna alone to her thoughts and just told Brianna she was having some trouble with some friends. She couldn’t figure out why, but this angered Sienna. Brianna deserved to know the truth. But Sienna couldn’t help but feel hypocritical also. She had the chance to tell Brianna herself, and she just threw it away. Sienna promised herself she would tell Brianna as soon as possible.

Chapter 5

After a week of at least a thousand missed phone calls from everyone and avoiding her best friends as much as possible, it was time. She had to tell them! I mean they are family to her after all! Sienna made the decision to tell Matthew and Taylor together, and let the conversation with Carter be just him and her. Sienna did a three way call with Matthew and Taylor and told them to meet at her cafe. No, “Hey guys sorry I’ve been so distant. I’ll explain at the cafe”. Just one sentence, hung up, and then Sienna left. She tried to come up with what to say but every possible thing sounded too cliche and fake. It was just a in the moment type thing. When Sienna arrived, Taylor was there, but Matthew wasn’t.

Sienna walked up to Taylor and said, “Wait for Matthew, then I’ll spill”

Taylor just nodded her head and sat down while Sienna ordered an iced coffee, the most basic thing on the menu. Sienna and Taylor sat together waiting without saying one word. Things had never been as awkward as this before and Sienna could see Taylor was burning to tell her something. Every time Taylor’s lips would part Sienna would nonchalantly tilt her head away and “drink” her coffee. After an eternity Matthew finally came. He turned to Taylor and in the most awkward possible way hugged her. Not like he usually does, as if they were in a fight and he didn’t know whether showing signs of affection was appropriate or not. Sienna was clearly confused but shook it off and decided to ask Taylor about it later, if Taylor will even tell her after Sienna’s been such a pain lately.

Then he turned to Sienna and said, “Sienna, what the heck has been going on with you” He said it in an almost laughing manner but the irritation in his voice was clear.

After letting out a huge sigh, Sienna replied by saying, “I have a good reason I swear just let me explain. And please don’t interrupt me”.  Sienna continued, “My dad had been promoted and in a couple months he’s being promoted again”. Both of their faces clearly showed happiness and confusion as to why that lead to weeks of ignorance. “But the project isn’t really here…”. Before Taylor or Matthew could say one word she cut them off and whispered, “It’s in Australia,”.

Taylor still annoyed and upset with her because of only God knows what said, “Either speak louder or I’m leaving,”.

Sienna kept her calm and in a louder manner said, “I’m moving to Australia in December because my dad has a three year project there”. Sienna couldn’t believe her own peace while she said it and almost on cue started to cry. Matthew who obviously saw this as a joke realized the seriousness when Sienna started to cry. He was stunned and there is no other way to put it, and his face turned white and he had nothing to say.

*side note: this is only part of my short story! There are 20 chapters in total! 

Tags

Add new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.